Changing the Face of Disability
December 2nd is National Special Education Day to commemorate the anniversary of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act that was signed into law on December 2, 1975. Special education is so important as those with special needs are given the proper attention and care they deserve. The goal is to not ostracize this group of learners, but rather find a place in the schooling system that integrates them into the regular schooling system. Inclusive education has the positive effect of allowing all students to feel like their personal needs are being met while also feeling a part of the community.
Tameka McNair is a proponent of inclusivity and wants people to know that her son who has Cerebral Palsy is just like any other kid. One of Tameka's hopes is that we normalize people, especially kids, with special needs and see them for who they are beyond their disability or as she puts it "differently abled". Hear more from Tameka below!
For the visually impaired, click here for the audio version of this Narrative: Audio 1 | Audio 2 | Audio 3 | Audio 4
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I grew up in poverty in a single parent home where I had all odds stacked against me, but I have been able to persevere. I’m a single parent of twin boys (13 years old), I had them in the middle of Engineering school and finished my degree while rearing two little ones. Then continued my education a few years ago to obtain my MBA. I’ve been in 3 different industries (Manufacturing, Energy, Technology) within the past 10 years and now working for one of the largest companies in the world. My aspiration is to become a CEO one day, however I don’t see stories of women who made it to the C-Suite with my same persona--I’m ok with being the first😊.
One of my twins, Japarius, experienced a massive stroke 6-weeks after birth, one of the most traumatic days of my life. Although the prognosis was devasting, my faith stepped in and a miracle was performed. My son falls under the Cerebral Palsy umbrella however, he’s highly active. Even with his right-side weakness it has not stopped him from doing the things he’s passionate about, playing football and basketball.
What challenges have you faced raising a son with a disability?
There are 2 main challenges that I’ve faced with raising a son with different abilities; managing the number of doctor appointments to ensure that it doesn’t impact his school schedule too much and managing the ‘limiting’ perceptions that others’ may have about my son abilities. There are times when my son has had 7-10 doctor’s appointments within a week, I would coordinate the appointments to ensure the least impact to his schedule. In some cases, scheduling 4 back-to-back appointments in one day. In regards to the second challenge, managing the ‘limiting’ perceptions that others’ may have about my son abilities is the toughest because I can’t control how others’ think but I can model how I want others’ to engage with my son. I personally don’t like using the word ‘disability’, it sets the tone that an individual is limited and/or disadvantaged in regards to what they can achieve but prefer the term differently abled. The reality is that we all have different abilities, which makes the world a beautiful place. Although Japarius experienced a traumatic experience at a very young age, I never treated him any differently than his twin, Javion. I encouraged and reminded him that he could do anything that his brother could do. I often tell my sons to “acknowledge your weaknesses, but Double down on your strengths”.
What do you wish people knew about kids with disabilities?
Kids with different abilities are special just like any other children. They are smart, creative, innovative, talented, courageous and have the ability the shape the world in a unique way! I encourage everyone who has a child with different abilities to lean-in, recognize your child’s strengths and acknowledge where you have may have placed unwarranted limits on your child because of fear or other concerns. Give your child permission to Dream Big and to Double-Down on their strengths! I was petrified to let Japarius play football which is his 1st love, all I could think about was the “what if’s”. Those “what if’s” were based on my personal fears and as a mother I had to realize that what was more important than my fears, was to let my son fly and follow his passions. Shortly after letting him play football for the first time, I realized that this was part of his therapy, and what better way to encourage him to use both sides of his body 😊.
What has been your greatest accomplishment as a single, Black Mom?
One of my greatest accomplishment in being a single, Black Mom is completing my Engineering degree. It’s an enduring symbol of my incredible journey the spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional challenges I have overcame. There were numerous times that I wanted to throw the towel in because the weight on my shoulders was so heavy. But every time I looked at my sons who didn’t ask to come into this world, I was reminded that completing the degree was Bigger than me! My degree was not only for me, but for my children and for any other single parent who desired to complete a higher education but couldn’t because of life circumstances. It took me about me about 8 years to finish my undergraduate degree, persevering through failed classes, lack of resources including a car, and many doctor appointments. When I’m faced with new life challenges, I’m reminded of a picture of me during that trying time, crossing the railroad tracks while pushing my babies in their double stroller to make it to my next class…this image keeps me humble and is a reminder of how far I’ve come.
