TONL x Nike: You Can't Stop Sisters: Jessica + Jacqui
As the world has been forced to adjust and stay-at-home, the words “family” and “friendship” have meant so much more. Deep reflection allows us to be grateful for the bonds that we have amongst our loved ones, near and far, blood-related and not. The word “sister” takes on a whole new meaning when you are confined to the four walls of your home, neighborhood, community and computer. A 'sister’ is someone you can lean on, call, laugh with, FaceTime or even go on a walk with. All of this is the makeup of a dynamic sisterhood between Jacqulyn Whang and Jessica Lopez. Women have historically been pitted against each other - in sport, in career and in the media to name a few. TONL and Nike have come together to pivot the conversation towards the positive work that women like Jacqulyn (Jacqui) and Jessica (Jess) are doing as they share a bond not connected by blood, but through a shared vision. When women push each other forward they are unstoppable. There are so many things that they can accomplish by coming together. Read more about how Jacqui and Jess are proving that through TONL Co Founder, Karen’s intimate recount of her discussion with them.
“I’m just looking forward to taking over the world with Jacqui.”
Their lived experiences are so different. Jess is a third generation Californian with cultural ties to Puerto Rico and the Indigenous community. Jacqui’s family immigrated to California from Korea in the 80s to escape the turmoil during the North and South Korean divide. Jess grew up in Compton while Jacqui moved around for most of her childhood, spending the larger part of her teen years in the suburbs of LA County. But, it would be two things that brought them together: their love for teaching and serving.
For Jess, substitute teaching in Compton sparked an interest in going full time with the Compton Unified School District. A colored past in the corporate, charter school system pushed Jacqui to explore other educational opportunities in high needs school districts servicing public schools. Compton Unified School District was the first to offer her a job.
While teaching in Compton is their common ground, their worlds didn’t collide in the classroom. In fact, their friendship is so second nature that for a moment the memory of when they met escaped them! They both laughed when I sat down with them hoping the other would take the lead - something I would later learn shows up in other ways when they want the other to shine. “Well, Jacqui can go because I really don't remember how we were connected. Someone connected us somehow. I don't remember how it was or who it was, my bad!”
“It was Dylan,” Jacqui finally chimed in as they continued to laugh over their forgetfulness. Dylan saw what anybody could pick up from the first few minutes of sitting with these ladies and it was a shared vision to support the youth, particularly young girls. Jess was advising Junior State of America (JSA) which is a national student-lead nonprofit organization that focuses on promoting more civic engagement for students and also giving them a safe place to be able to debate really controversial topics, national topics and local topics. Its main focus is to allow the youth to be more involved in the political and civic system. Not too far away, was Jacqui leading a similar group of her own called “Future Voters” at Centennial High. An event at the Civic Center called “Civically Me Forum” would finally allow them to meet face-to-face.
“I felt like I wanted to be one of her students”
“Our clubs were both hosting the event and I remember when I first met Jess!” Jacqui reminisced in a giddy, nostalgic, enduring tone. “I had three kids and they were already set up and she had a whole squad of kids. I felt like I wanted to be one of her students. They were just a solid squad. I was so encouraged because at Centennial [high school] we are doing our thing, but as a teacher, it gets really lonely and you don’t really step out into the outer schools and Jess was one of those parallel world moments where I was like whoaaaa!”
Nurturing that connection from that day is something that has come easy to them as they take a Big Sis-Little Sis approach in the way they look out for each other. Many of their most intimate bonding moments happen on their recurring walks. “We try to get outside and go on walks where we can just hash out all of our ideas and just brainstorm,” Jess conveyed. “It’s good to have her to just be able to throw ideas at too. She’s great and very resourceful. She has more connections than I do, so she is always like “what about this?!” and “I know this person!” so it’s a perfect way to blend our ideas and our goals together,” Jess continued.
They are always picking up what each other throws with that Big sister, Little sister feel. Jacqui chalked up their friendship into a funny high school memory that got brought up during one of their walks. “I was telling Jess that in high school I always wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift car because that was a cool thing. Of course, Jess says, “I had a stick shift!” and that’s how I knew that I wanted to be friends with her. It’s a certain energy that she has that I noticed and am grateful for. I learn so much from her.” Carrying on with that same story, Jacqui confessed that in high school no one would let her drive their (stick shift) car because she would always mess up their brakes. “Jess is the one that has IT [the stick shift driving skills] and it’s that dynamic that shows up in teaching.” With the adjustments that teachers have had to make in teaching virtually due to the coronavirus, Jacqui struggled telling her students to turn on their cameras. Jess’ advice: “JUST TELL THE KIDS TO TURN ON THEIR CAMERAS!” It apparently worked that day and they both laughed at this confession. They clearly balance each other out.
That first time when they met at the Civic Center, Jacqui shared that when she would meet Jess’ students she would quickly find connections to the kids in her own group at her school. It was clear that their individual efforts were rubbing off on the kids. A role model position that they take very seriously. Jacqui shared that one of the biggest ways she leads by example is showing the young girls that she works with that it’s okay to let your friends, your sisters shine. “Just listening to our girls, they don't want to be compared to each other. They're tired of the drama. They're tired of the fights. They’re tired of the social media and internet bullying. We’re all tired of it. But when older women in a very well-intended pure way, show what it’s like to have healthy and positive friendships it shows them not to be afraid to tell their sister, “Yo! You’re shining!” Jess went on to agree saying that, “It’s big being able to be each other's cheerleaders.”
“It goes back to self-care. If they’re not good, the girls aren’t good.”
Not only do they both display examples of showWOMANship, but they both lead by passing the mic - empowering the young girls that they work with to take the lead. Jacqui does it through an organization that she founded called GirlSpace International.
GirlSpace International’s mission is to provide a safe space for young women and non-binary youth in Compton to engage in a one day conference with workshops and activities that promote unity, confidence and leadership.
The current racial and political climate was a chance for Jess to reach out to young girls and ask them what they would like to discuss surrounding it all. “I gave them the lead because a lot of our Black and Brown girls have a lot of opinions about the current [racial] situation. They have feelings and anxiety over the whole situation. Providing them the opportunity to be able to discuss that in a safe environment is very very important because unfortunately, for a lot of our girls at home, they don't necessarily get that same support from their parents.”
It’s this same “what can we do for our girls?” attitude that helped Jacqui spawn the idea of GirlSpace International. Also carried out by Chrystani Heindrich and Abby Byrd-Lopez, their first conference took place in January of 2020 and Jacqui gushed saying that, “The girls felt like they were center stage.”
All of the incredible women who helped to put that first conference on did it expecting nothing in return. Like Jess, they do the work because it fuels them. “It makes me emotional because these women have been doing this for free and they would not ask for anything. To me it’s like, it has to help the girls, but it has to help the women who are curating spaces and experiences for our girls,” Jacqui explained. “It goes back to self-care. If they’re not good, the girls aren’t good.”
Self-care has been a critical way that Jess and Jacqui show up for themselves and their girls. Jess’ form of self care is going to the gym or walking the beach playing old school R&B/Hip Hop. “I grew up in the Golden Era of hip-hop so I am a hip-hop fan. But, I have been listening to a local artist named Buddy a lot. His songs put me in the right place.” With Jacqui, much of her self-care comes in the form of stillness. “I do a lot of yoga. I meditate and I sit still. Sometimes, I don’t even know if it’s meditation or just me closing my eyes,” she joked.
When their mind, body and soul is taken care of, that’s when their self-confidence shines through the most they admitted. Self confidence for Jacqui is trusting the energy that she puts forth. For Jess, “Confidence just means the will and the energy and the courage just to move forward even though there might be some obstacles there or challenges or anxiety.” She goes on to share that it’s “just not being afraid to fail.” “You’ve got to look at your failures as stepping stones to be able to build off of and learn from.”
In the climate we are currently in, it seems easy to get caught up in the negative, but as true trailblazers and visionaries, they’re both invested in the ideas and dreams of the future for each other. “I’m just looking forward to taking over the world with Jacqui,” Jess marvels. Jacqui adds.“I find a lot of camaraderie within just our shared vision and I learn so much from her because she is willing to listen, but also has the experience of being born and raised here [Compton] and doing the work here. It’s important to know my position as an ally. To be friends and be able to practice solidarity within that manner is really important for me and my own personal values of the future world I want to be in.”
As my time wound down with them, I began to see where they both stood out and made each other proud: Jess a “Jill of All Trades” sharing that she looks forward to continuing her work as an advisor for a civic education group, pledging to help with the voter apathy issue in Compton and Jacqui a “Connector.“ “Whatever Jess wants to do, I would be so in to help her.” “That’s how I know I’ve found sisters and friends in this world because I see them and I’m like, “Oh! I want you to win! What can I do?” Jacqui exclaimed.
Jess and Jacqui’s natural sisterhood is filled with mutual respect and admiration and it was refreshing to witness. It’s a bond that they are actively building on a daily basis with a lot of laughs and walks along the way.
